Perfectly Imperfect

Relationships are perfectly imperfect. They are full of flaws, baggage, past relationships, failed dreams, lost hopes, but most of all, love and faith. No two people are exactly alike, and I've heard that if two people agree on everything, then one person is not needed. This premise alone makes coexisting with one another even more challenging. How do you approach the differences that make you an individual? Would it be blissful to have someone who agreed with your every thought, desire, and want? Is that truly possible, or would that person only compromise who they are in an effort to make the other happy?

Am I saying that conflict is good and necessary? Not exactly, but I am saying it is inevitable, unavoidable, and needed in any relationship, both healthy and unhealthy. Let me start by first saying: pick your poison. What I mean by this is, know what you will and will not accept. Set reasonable expectations for yourself, your partner, and your relationship.

With that being done, you accept that there will be differences, occasional selfishness, laziness, and uncleanliness. But there is an acceptable level that you are willing to deal with in order to maintain a happy relationship. Sounds good, right? The problem is that we often get into relationships before we have determined what those expectations are. Before you know it, you're either constantly bickering, complaining, or compromising because you didn't know yourself before you were attached to someone else.

It's not too late. Find yourself. Know who you are, love yourself unconditionally, and understand what it takes to make you happy. Understand the needs and wants of your heart—what you can take or leave. Then, and only then, will you know what your poison is. If you are already in a relationship, spend time alone, work on your spiritual growth, fix those flaws you keep complaining about, and feel good about being who you are. This doesn't mean neglect your partner, walk away, or tell them you need a break. Contrary to what people believe, you can work on yourself and continue a relationship.

The reason I suggest not immediately walking away is because you may find that things are not that bad, you are generally happy, and the differences you have are those of a normal couple, with differing views, upbringing, and causes. However, you may also find that once you have found yourself, you have been compromising your beliefs, wants, desires, and dreams for the good of someone else. At that time, you will finally have the strength to walk away if need be.

Relationships thrive on a delicate balance of togetherness and individuality. Embrace the differences that make each person unique, and remember that love and faith can bridge many gaps. Stay true to yourself, communicate openly, and nurture both your personal growth and your relationship. Stay tuned for more insights on navigating the complexities of love and companionship.